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Agence France-Presse

The speculation on Kim's health comes as North Korea resumes cooperation in a six-nation deal on ending its nuclear drive after the United States met the communist state's demands to delist it as a state sponsor of terrorism ...

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SNL Star Poehler Gives Birth Hours Before Show

Associated Press
 "Saturday Night Live" star Amy Poehler delivered a baby boy Saturday hours before she was set to appear on the NBC show. Archie Arnett weighs 8 pounds, 1 ounce and is described as "healthy and resting comfortably" ...

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Review: 'True Blood' 8, 'Fourth Man In The Fire,' Back From Undead

Jennifer Thomas -- Chicago Sun-Times
So Bill is back from the, um, undead in the Oct. 26 eighth episode, "Fourth Man in the Fire," on "True Blood." Of course Bill didn't die; not that he's safe forever, but it's just the first season. And in case you were scratching your head trying to remember who the fourth man in the fire was, Neil (Kevin McHale) is the young guy who showed up each time they had to drag a body away, including Sookie's Gran. ...

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Mad Men, "Meditations In An Emergency": Truth In Advertising

Alan Sepinwall -- The Star-Ledger
As the wondrous second season of "Mad Men" comes to an end, it's October 1962, the Cuban Missile Crisis is underway, and as far as the men and women in the orbit of Sterling Cooper know, the world could be coming to an end at any moment. And that sense of impending doom shocks all of our major characters out of their comfort zones, forcing them to do or say things they might never have considered if there wasn't a chance that bombs could start dropping. And in their words and deeds, they acknowledge that they've had to leave a part of themselves behind -- sometimes a very large part -- to become the person they are right here, right now, waiting and wondering about the nukes ...

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Matt Lauer Hit By Funny Bombs At Friars Club Roast

Joanna Molloy -- New York Daily News
Matt Lauer knew he'd be skewered at his Friars Club roast Friday at the Hilton - but when Tom Cruise showed up, he was toast. The two famously argued over psychiatry and anti-depressants when Lauer interviewed the "War of the Worlds" star on the "Today" show in 2005 ...

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Selig, MLB Could've Avoided This Muddy Mess

Ken Rosenthal -- FOX Sports

World Series games should never, ever be played in conditions that compromise the integrity of the competition. That's what happened Monday night, no matter how commissioner Bud Selig wants to spin it. Selig again was in something of a no-win position because of inaccurate weather forecasts. But he should have halted Game 5 much soone ...

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Labrador Lush Guzzles 4 Litres Of Wine

Emma Bailey -- Timaru Herald

Roxy now knows excess alcohol can make you as sick as a dog. Roxy being a labrador and thinking there was a possibility of food had torn open the casks and proceeded to drink the wine up. It seems Mystic Ridge medium white wine really agreed with her palate....initially. ...

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Too Portly For The Car, Pig Is Now A Trotter

Felicity ROOKES - Taranaki Daily News |

Kevin How gets a few looks when he walks his pig Phillip Ignatius Grimshaw down the street.Five-month-old P.I.G. even knows how to cross the road safely -- he runs ahead of Kevin, but when he gets to the road he stops and waits. ...

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Farce As Customer 'Raids' Closed Bank

Liam Miller-- Daily Express (UK)

Bank customer Dave Naughton broke into a closed branch by accident -- because the doors were left unlocked.Yesterday Dave, a Natwest customer for 25 years, said: "It's just comical. I was standing in a deserted bank with the alarm going off. After the banking crisis maybe they have decided there is nothing left to steal." ...

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Driver Who Followed His G.P.S. Too Closely And Ended Up In The Middle Of A Lake

Daily Mail (UK)

It was dark and the un-named driver had been drinking, but he still managed to miss three signs warning him there was a lake ahead. ...

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Credit Card With 200% Interest Rate

Hilary Osborne -- Guardian (UK)

Louise Bond, personal finance manager at uSwitch, said card providers seemed to be "cashing in on desperate consumers". She added: "Despite the recession, life does have to go on, but we strongly advise people not to be lured into this type of deal ...

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Best-Selling Author Tony Hillerman, 83, Died Sunday

John Faherty and Shaun McKinnon -- Arizona Republic

Tony Hillerman, the best-selling author of Navajo Tribal Police mystery novels,died Sunday in Albuquerque of pulmonary failure. He said he loved getting good reviews but, "I am far more delighted by being voted the most popular author by the students of St. Catherine Indian School. "Even better, Hillerman said, was hearing from "middle-aged Navajos who tell me that reading my mysteries revived their children's interest in the Navajo way." ...

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  Please Visit Our George Carlin, Tim Russert and Tony Snow Memorial Pages.

 

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The aim of the March Report is to provide you with information on all sides of the important issues of the day. To the best of our ability, we will not skew our coverage to the left, right or center. We say "to the best of our ability" because, now matter how hard someone tries, absolute objectivity is impossible. For example (and in our opinion), a certain cable news outlet genuinely tries to be "Fair and Balanced," yet it is indisputable that their coverage skews to the right. Others' coverage skews to the left. Does this imply some grand conspiracy? NO! It simply means that, despite their good faith attempt to be balanced, their deeply held convictions cannot help but seep through. We all analyze the information presented to us through the filter of our own lifetime of experiences. A liberal, a conservative, a libertarian and a socialist could, in good faith, objectively analyze a series of news stories on a given issue, and arrive at four different opinions; and, they would ALL be right. In our presentation of the news stories we select to link to on the March Report, we hope to be as balanced as our abilities allow; but, those of us working on the March Report also have our own lifetimes of experiences, so please forgive the occasional lapse and call it to our attention. E-mail us at (This is not a clickable link, and is rendered as a graphic to avoid having our address grabbed by e-mail aggregators for the purpose of spamming or spoofing.) Please be brief and concise, and, if possible, please provide links to stories that you feel cover a side of an issue that we have overlooked, or that support your argument. Do not send attachments without prior discussion with us. We will also opine on the issues of the day, but those opinions will be confined to our Editorial column. In our Editorials, we will attempt to lay out the data that we have evaluated that led us to the conclusion we have come to. It is NOT our intent to sway you, simply to state what we believe and why we believe it. If, after reading one of our Editorials, you come to share our opinion, fine. If you disagree, that's fine too, provided that you've done the work of actually evaluating and assessing the information. The March Report is a real news site, but with a dose of humor. The site slogan is "News and Information Presented Daily in The March Report, with Gales of Derisive Laughter." While not as serious as the Drudge report, neither is it a comedy site such as thedailyshow.com. Rather, we'd analogize it to a group of people discussing the news around the water cooler or office coffee machine. There's always one idiot who, while well informed, makes sarcastic comments a la Johnny Carson's monologue. The March Report strives to be that idiot. We hope that you'll make a habit of visiting us every day, 7 days a week. We also hope that you will support our advertisers, in that the revenue generated is what pays the bills, thus making the March Report possible. That said, welcome aboard. As Rick said to Captain Renault at the end of Casablanca, "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." They didn't agree, but each had earned the respect of the other. If you decide we don't merit your respect but choose to come back anyway, then, as Bette Davis said in "All About Eve," "Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy ride."   Download a pdf file of the Mission Statement.

 

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McCain Ad: "Life Savings"

JohnMcCain.com

 John McCain's "Life Savings, currently airing ...

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Obama Ad: "Jill Biden's Message For Veterans And Military Families"

BarackObama.com

 Barack Obama's "Jill Biden's Message for Veterans and Military Families" Ad, currently airing ...

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Philip J. Berg, Esq, Former Deputy Attorney General of Pennsylvania, alleges that Barack Obama is not eligible for the Office of the President of the United States because Obama was born in Kenya and is an Indonesian citizen. Judge Surrick ruled that Berg did not have standing to bring the case, and Berg is appealing to the Supreme Court.
     Yesterday, we displayed the bogus "Certificate of Live Birth" produced by the Obama Campaign, claiming he was born in Hawaii in 1961 and compared it to a genuine certificate from the period (see story in yesterday's issue).
     Today, we display Obama's Indonesian school registration, both the original and English translation, which declare him to be an Indonesian citizen of the Islamic faith. There is nothing wrong with being a Muslim; what's wrong is lying about it. There's nothing wrong with being an Indonesian citizen, but it does render you ineligible to serve as President of the United States.
     A few days ago, Senator Obama rushed off to Hawaii, ostensible to see his ailing grandmother. Yesterday, Hawaii's Gov. Linda Lingle sealed Obama's birth certificate. Hmmmm.
    The March Report has no horse in this race. The March Report is interested in only one thing: true stories that are interesting to our readers.
    If anyone reading this can produce actual, irrefutable proof that Senator Obama is legally eligible to serve as President, we will gladly run it here. If anyone in the Obama campaign or DNC can help disprove this story with factual data, please get in touch with us. Our objective here is simply to publish the truth, whatever that truth might be, no matter whose ox gets gored.
    In fact, from a narrative point of view, it would be ideal for us if BOTH Obama and McCain were declared ineligible by the Supreme Court, leaving us with a Biden versus Palin election, which Governor Sarah would win in a landslide, youbetcha!
     When Senator McCain's citizenship was called into question, he immediatley released all relevant records. All Senator Obama needs do is release his records to settle this once and for all.
     In stark contrast, Obama has stonewalled, stalled and obfuscated. Why, if there is nothing to hide?
     Where there's smoke, there's fire; or, so says Robert Jay March, your politically unaffiliated, racially-mixed, non-Christian (Buddhist, in fact), related-to-several-Husseins, buttinsky
     Have a nice day ...

Although the legitimacy of Sen. Barack Obama's birth certificate has become a focus of intense speculation - and even several lawsuits - Hawaii's Gov. Linda Lingle has placed the candidate's birth certificate under seal and instructed the state's Department of Health to make sure no one in the press obtains access to the original document under any circumstances ...

Obama's plane had barely touched down from his trip to Honolulu - ostensibly to visit his ailing granny - when the Republican governor of the Aloha State, Linda Lingle, placed his birth certificate under seal, directed the state's Department of Health to bar access of the document to the press, and declared that the only people eligible to obtain it were the person born or someone acting on his behalf, a relative, or a legal guardian ...

Registration document from the Fransiskus Assisi Catholic School in Jakarta, Indonesia, which shows the registration of Barack Obama under the name Barry Soetoro by his step-father, Lolo Soetoro, describes Barry Soetoro as an Indonesian citizen of the Islamic faith. Photo credit: Tatan Syuflana -- Associated Press ...

Englih translation of the above-cited document ...

Regardless of the classification, the person at the heart of this is Sen. Barack Obama, and he wants to be president of the United States of America. He wants that very much, and a lot of people support him. But those who don't consider him out of the mainstream of American politics and, indeed, out of the mainstream of American culture. He's also an enigma ...

 2001 Obama Chicago Public Radio Interview on WBEZ-FM radio, wherein describes his views on the redistribution of wealth ...

If the polls are right and the trend continues, Obama will win a landslide and a mandate for his promises of vast new spending, fewer immigrant restrictions and a mix of tax hikes and cuts valued at trillions of dollars.
    The ramifications would be dramatic. If Obama delivers on the change he has promised, it could mean that capitalism as it has been defined becomes a dirty word while "sharing the wealth" gains scriptural significance. American exceptionalism, the guiding if unspoken force of our foreign policy for most of our history, will be out, international cooperation i ...

In 1995, Obama's first autobiography is released. In it he writes of his years in college, associating with radicals. "To avoid being mistaken for a sellout, I chose my friends carefully. The more politically active black students. The foreign students. The Chicanos. The Marxist professors and structural feminists and punk rock performance poets.
    In 1995, Ayers and Dorn opened their Chicago Hyde Park home to host a political coming-out party for Barack Obama, when he ran for the state Senate. Someone who was at this party for Obama wrote that Ayers and Dohrn were launching him, "introducing him to the Hyde Park community as the best thing since sliced bread." ...

A Reuters/Zogby poll indicated a tightening to a five-point race, with chief pollster John Zogby saying: "Things are trending back for McCain. His numbers are rising and Obama's are dropping on a daily basis. There seems to be a direct correlation between this and McCain talking about the economy." ...

 John McCain remains confident about his success in the US presidential election despite reports of Republican in-fighting ...

 ATF agents thwarted a plot by two skinheads to murder Barack Obama and 102 other black people. One man was 20-years-old from Tennessee and another was 19 from Arkansas ...

Rob Moritz -- Arkansas News Bureau


Daniel Gregory Cowart, 20, and Paul Michael Schlesselman, 18.
Photo credit: Crockett County Tennessee Sheriff's Department

According to court records, they planned to shoot or decapitate 88 black people and ultimately kill Obama ...

"If we had any skinheads in this county I wasn't aware of it. We hardly know what they are," said Sam Lewis, who lives across the street from the mother of suspect Daniel Cowart. Cowart, he said, grew up in the comfortable, well maintained neighborhood and wasn't known as a troublemaker. "His mother is a real sweet, nice girl, and this comes as a shock and a surprise," Lewis said ...

 Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama has said he has "the best folks in the world" taking care of his safety ...

KCBS-TV


Photo credit: Ric Francis -- Associated Press

"I respect that we all have the right to freedom of speech," Prang said. "However, with that right comes responsibility. While these residents have the legal right to display Senator John McCain and Governor Sarah Palin in effigy, I strongly oppose political speech that references violence -- real or perceived ...


Cartoon by Peter Brookes -- London Times (UK)

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Ricky Skaggs Reworks Classics

Chris Wragge -- CBS News

 Country music legend Ricky Skaggs performs a song from his latest album, "The High Notes." The singer says he likes some of his reworked versions of the classics better ...

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Stiller Likes To Move It

Associated Press

 The cast of "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa" talks about dance moves and adult jokes in this family movie ...

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Dieters Go Bananas For Bananas

CBS News
 A fad diet in Japan has those who want to lose some weight going bananas in the morning. The diet calls for bananas and lukewarm water for breakfast and whatever you want for the rest of the day ...

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Uncovering Antarctica's Secrets

BBC News (UK)

 Scientists will use a specially-converted plane and high-resolution radar to map Antarctica's contours ...

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Giordano Bruno: Philosopher/Heretic By Ingrid Rowland

Powells.com


Giordano Bruno is one of the great figures of early modern Europe, and one of the least understood. By the time Bruno was burned at the stake as a heretic in 1600 on Rome's Campo dei Fiori, he had taught in Naples, Rome, Venice, Geneva, France, England, Germany, and the "magic Prague" of Emperor Rudolph II. His powers of memory and his provocative ideas about the infinity of the universe had attracted the attention of the pope, Queen Elizabeth-and the Inquisition, which condemned him to death in Rome as part of a yearlong jubilee. Ingrid D. Rowland's pathbreaking "Giordano Bruno: Philosopher/Heretic " establishes him once and for all as a peer of Erasmus, Shakespeare, and Galileo, a thinker whose vision of the world prefigures ours ...

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Ghostly Phenomenon Leads Mom On New Quest

J.J. Jeffres -- Lansing State Journal
"My son would yell at his wall to be quiet and leave him alone," said Kim Ladd, a stay-at-home mother of three. So she hired a paranormal investigator, who said a spirit named Bobby was besieging her 3-year-old son's bedroom. Ladd, 34, was so intrigued by the investigation she joined the team ...

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Texans Spot UFOs In The Sky

Javno.com
 AND TEXT. The unidentified flying objects appeared above the Texan town this January and the locals recorded it with their mobile phones ...

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